Dr. Linda Stolarz:
dr.stolarz@hisandhersmag.com
http://www.mindbodytherapist.com

Click here & ask Dr. Stolarz a question >>

I have worked for over 20 years in this field treating many levels of problems and have learned that each person is unique and requires therapy that fits their individual needs. Therapy focuses on the client's goals and a plan is worked on how to best achieve the desired results.

My strength lies in understanding the courage it takes to make the decision to talk to someone and then helping the client feel understood without judging. My goal is to assist each person that comes to me to get what they need to make their life better.

Through this process you can find that by getting to know yourself better and then understanding the resistance to getting what you need, you can achieve your goals. We can work together to determine what that course will take. You are the pilot; I will help you navigate the course.

My Story
Many years ago I embarked on a journey to find within myself peace and happiness. It began with a simple but very difficult telephone call to my best friend's Psychoanalyst. I realized over the course of a few days that this was one of the most frightening things I had ever experienced. Talking to a complete stranger about my life was overwhelming and yet an unburdening of all that was within my mind. It was that single phone call that would ultimately change my life forever.

I had been, what everyone from the outside, perceived as an independent successful woman. I had a Master's Degree in Social Work, a career, a child, a wonderful husband and provider and a beautiful home. What I did not have, however, was self-esteem. My trip took me through a labyrinth that forced me to look as much to the past as the future. Having grown up in a household that expected the children to go to college and succeed, nothing less would do. Compliments and affection were not readily given. What was not accomplished was noticed and pointed out rather than praise given for what was successfully achieved.

Suddenly in my thirties, having decided to have a second child and pursue a Ph.D. I began to wonder why it was that I strived for perfection only to be constantly disappointed in myself and my life. The question was asked over and over “why is it that I am not happy and content when surrounded by the people and things I love.”

Slowly and painstakingly I learned about loving myself first. Going through the process of psychotherapy I discovered that while I had achieved my major goals and was a successful, intelligent and independent woman I needed to look a little harder look at myself. Issues from my past remained baggage that I needed to let go of. In an atmosphere that was not invasive I allowed myself to open doors that I had kept shut for many years which resulted in further personal growth and emotional happiness.

For years I had been busy taking care of the emotional needs of a husband, children, family, friends and patients. Looking in the mirror I realized one day I was not taking care of myself physically. I was somewhat overweight and I was not physically fit. I would get winded easily by walking up a flight of stairs. Growing up in a household where fitness was stressed and everyone was athletic, I was relegated to the position of “couch potato”. I heard things like “You are not athletic, you can't do that.” I believed it. After all, my father and brother could bike 50 miles in a day; my sisters were cross country runners and one a P.E. major. I convinced myself that I was comfortable being the non-athletic member of the family and believed what I heard.

Over time I realized that while I was attempting to take care of and understand my emotional side I had neglected a very important side; the physical one. With children to raise, a home to maintain, a business to run, I had put my personal health at risk. One day after being diagnosed with dehydration I realized that the emotional and physical sides needed to be addressed simultaneously. Proper nutrition and a balanced diet, adequate intake of fluids and exercise were all neglected but are necessary for a healthy mind and body.

It was only after both the emotional and physical sides were addressed that the road ahead became clear and filled with contentment. Today, my goals grow with each passing day. Scuba diving, triathlons, public speaking and book writing once an impossible dream for a shy girl are in the realm of possibilities. The world and what it offers becomes bigger and more attainable with increased self confidence. This is possible for others as well and because of my personal odyssey it has become my goal to help others achieve what they too believe to be an impossible dream and begin their journey on a road to somewhere.

Dr. Linda Stolarz, PhD, LCSW, is in private practice, with offices in Colts Neck, NJ, New York City and Philadelphia. She is also a motivational speaker who specializes in training clients to discover and make the most of their assets through emotional and physical fitness. A book is also currently in the works on Passion and Marriage.